Even to this day, Hodor remains one of the warmest and most beloved characters in the epic fantasy series Game of Thrones. Hodor was a gentle and powerful figure who watched over Bran Stark, traveling with him after their home of Winterfell was sacked. Played by Northern Irish actor Kristian Nairn, Nairn reflects on his life and career, including his star-making turn on Game of Thrones, in his memoir Beyond the Throne: Epic Journeys, Enduring Friendships, and Surprising Tales. More than just offering behind-the-scenes stories about Game of Thrones, the memoir delves into Nairn’s upbringing, embracing his queer identity and delves into his musical career as a successful globe-trotting D.J., occasionally under the stage name Revlon.
In an exclusive interview with CBR, actor and author Kristian Nairn shares the inspiration behind sharing his life in the new memoir, reflects on his time with Game of Thrones, the resurgence of interest in the series with the release of House of the Dragon and teases what fans can expect when they read Beyond the Throne as it launches this September.
CBR: Kristian, what are the origins of writing your memoir and sharing so much of your life on the printed page?
Kristian Nairn: It was during being on tour with my manager. I was constantly telling him strange tales from my past and how I became who I am. He turned to me in Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson Airport and said “Kristian, you’ve got to write this stuff down immediately. You’re writing a book!” You immediately question yourself because you don’t see your own life as being worthy of writing down.
I started to put down all the stories and things that I wanted to say, and all of sudden, I had enough for a book. As I started to put it all together, it convinced me that there might be some merit in this. I ended up, at the end of the process, with a thing that I’m very proud of. I like to share. If you have something that might be slightly valuable to share, I think that you should do it.
The memoir is structured between two timelines, one with your upbringing and one during your run on Game of Thrones. How was it alternating between these timelines and building to their intersection?
That was a unique challenge. I did ask some friends for pointers on structure because it’s my first book. I spent a long time timelining and trying to make things work that were relevant to each other, parts of personal growth that maybe reminded me of a story in Game of Thrones . It was trying to tie up what parts to leave out and what parts to keep in. It’s hard, it’s harder than I imagined. It’s also hard putting off stuff. It may have been something really important [personally], but it doesn’t read well or work in the context of the timeline.
That’s an interesting process to learn. I’m only 48, and I’m still learning new stuff, but I think that’s what keeps you vital. I love learning new stuff. With Our Flag Means Death fans, those are such talented, crafty people. Even yesterday, there were so many gifts and beautiful things and that’s in return. We’ve inspired them, and they’ve inspired me back. I’ve been drawing, customizing trailers and writing books. That’s mostly down to the fandom that has inspired me. Thanks, guys!
How was it curating the story of your own life, deciding what to keep and what to edit out of the memoir?
Because I’m an actor and because I’ve done my own music for so long, I know that there’s a stage where you have to throw your hands up and let it into somebody else’s hands, usually for editing, because you don’t hear, see or read things objectively. I can’t do it and I don’t think anyone can truly do it. I think that’s a very important process because there are things that I feel very strongly about, but they just didn’t work in the context of the book. It didn’t really work for the story or message at the end of the book, so I was happy to just drop them. I can always do another book. I’m only 48!
After this experience, have you considered writing another book?
I’m already working on the next one. It’s not a memoir. I’ve started writing some fiction, and I’m nearly finished with a book of poetry. I don’t know what to do with myself!
Is your driving motivator keeping an eye on you as that young man growing up in Lisburn, Northern Ireland in the ’70s and ’80s?
I don’t really try to think too much about the future or the past. I only really try to live for now. That took me a long time to get there. I love to create, whether it’s creating a conversation or a piece of art. I think because I was shy as a child, I’ve become drunk with expression. I think I’m a bit high on letting myself out. I never feel better than when I’m showing who I really am because I’m not going to hide. I make mistakes and I might not always say the right thing, but I think I’m an okay guy.
Between the amiable Hodor and your musical alter ego Revlon playing clubs on the weekends, how was it reconciling those two very different parts of yourself?
You make the assumption that I did reconcile it. [ laughs ] I’m not sure that I did honestly. I don’t really try to think about what I have coming up unless I have to seriously prepare for it or else I’ll get a bit upset or stressed. That’s how I handled the situation of Hodor. Somewhere between Revlon and Hodor, there lies me on that personality line, I’m somewhere in the middle. Maybe that’s how I reconciled it.
Hodor gave me peace and quiet and reminded me of being a shy teenager. Revlon gave me the punk rock attitude, anger and sass to become who I am today. They’re parts of the same coin. Wee John is another part of the same coin. He might actually be the middle point, now that I think about this. Maybe that’ll be another book, and hopefully it’ll be that we got a Season 3 . [ laughs ]
Catharsis feels like a big motivator for you, with catharsis getting on stage as Revlon, deejaying, acting and now writing.
The catharsis that you speak of, it’s good that you picked up on it because it’s a very real thing. As I deejayed and acted, this is where I first noticed it. People would say it’s very different deejaying compared to acting compared to writing or whatever and I would say “No, it’s exactly the same.’
At the time, there was this Britney Spears song “In the Zone,” and I’d say I was in the zone, it’s the same zone. When I’m on the stage deejaying, I’m in the same zone as Hodor, though I come across differently. As I share my thoughts and feelings about the world, I have that same vibe.
You started writing this memoir before House of the Dragon premiered. How has it been since, seeing this resurgence in interest in Game of Thrones and reappraisal in the wake of this new series?
I think it’s a really good balance of people respectful of the old show and appreciating that this is different. I think it often has to make people who love the old show love it and enough newness to attract new people and say that it’s not the same old thing. I’ve noticed they’ve put a lot of Easter Eggs into this one. They’re massive figures from pop culture now, but I love a good Easter Egg and I think they’re doing that well. I have this horrible feeling that we’re going to have to wait for 30 seasons for the big dragon fight.
One of the recurring things in the memoir is that you hadn’t gotten around to reading the A Song of Fire & Ice novels by George R.R. Martin yet.
I actually saw him a few weeks ago for publishing stuff, and we joked about deadlines. He just looked at me deadpan and was like “I’m 12 years late. I know about deadlines.” [ laughs ] He honestly couldn’t be a nicer man. I love to meet people who are smarter than me and absorb and learn from them, and he’s just that type of person. A wonderful man and he has a wonderful wife as well, the lovely Parris.
Have you finally read his books?
No. [ laughs ] I’ve promised myself that I would read them and I promised George I would read them back in Season 1. We’ve got time!
What were some of the more difficult parts to put into the memoir?
The painful parts that made me who I am aren’t necessarily painful to talk about. Once you get them out, it’s like clearing out luggage. The stuff about what happened to my mum in the past is hard to write about. I obviously got my mum’s expressed permission to write about it because I thought it was valuable, and it’s not my story. It’s part of my story, but it’s expressly my mum’s story.
She thought about it and didn’t say “Yes” right away. I gave her the time to think about it. She also saw the value in putting it out there. Those parts were hard but, at the end of the day, very cathartic. The difficult parts are always the ones that turn into good parts.
Kristian, what do you think will surprise people the most as they get to know you through your own words?
I just want people to see who I really am. If there’s one takeaway, it’s just to use your differences, not be afraid of who you are and don’t be running away from yourself. There are plenty of other people worth running away from, yourself is not one of them. Be true to yourself. It’s such a waste of time [otherwise] and I wish I knew that when I was younger. If this helps someone get there faster, from this silly book, then I’ve done my job.
Beyond the Throne: Epic Journeys, Enduring Friendships, and Surprising Tales is written by Kristian Nairn. The book goes on sale Sept. 24 from Hachette Books.